Question: For several months I have been feeling sad, tearful and alone. Sadness has become a norm for me. I also started isolating myself because I feel extremely uncomfortable around people. I don’t feel like talking about my condition with anyone.

Answer: If you feel sad, alone and isolated, most likely, you are having an episode of depression. Depression is very common these days because while living in a society based on ideas of individualism and fierce competition, we are becoming more and more isolated from each other. Having been living in such emotional isolation, nowadays, it is increasingly more difficult for many people to find their true support. Due to that, many people find themselves in a state of hopelessness, desperation and pain, leading to isolation, which is called depression.

Depression can be a response of your body and mind to certain circumstances in your life. Events of a positive or of a negative nature can lead to depression. Loss of a job, unsatisfying relationship, threatening life illness, are some examples of negative situations potentially leading to depression. Seemingly positive event in our life, such as a birth of a child can actually too lead to depression. Why can depression be caused by equally positive or negative events? Because all of those events create stressful event for our nervous system, which in turn challenges our coping abilities. So, stress of any event can cause us to reach our coping limit, which could potentially lead to depression.

Each of us had at least one episode of depression in our lifetime. I can say that depression might be an indication, a sign that something has gone wrong in the ways we think about ourselves and our circumstances. Our mind is very powerful in that it has an amazing capability to create certain images in which we start to believe. Positive images materialize in the forms of happy and prosperous living, while negative images manifest in sadness, overall dissatisfaction with life, which is one of the causes for depression.

I must share that from my own experiences working with clients with depression, most of my clients say that they don’t feel comfortable sharing about their depression with anyone, even their families, because nobody can truly understand them. In fact, many times they are advised by their family members to simply “get over it”, which is quite impossible due the complex nature of depression.

You might also feel judged by your family. When such judgment and misunderstanding comes from your spouse or own children, this feels especially hurtful. The reason for such misunderstanding is that it is quite difficult for your family’s members to understand your suffering, especially if they had never experienced depression themselves. It is difficult for people to walk in somebody else’s shoes; I would say almost impossible for the most! Your situation is absolutely unique to you and yes, lack of understanding from others is quite common and can foster even further isolation for you.

Staying in depression for long periods of time affects your mind/mental body, your physical body as well as your spirit. Those three are at all times connected, directly communicating depression to one another. How? When you feel depressed, your physical body and immune system gets much weaker. You know that when your body starts hurting without any physical reason. Many times doctors cannot say why your body is hurting, giving you no diagnosis. But now you know that depression does affect your body in many adverse ways. That is why treating depression first many times helps remove other physical symptoms associated with that. When you become less depressed, stronger mentally, your physical body will certainly respond by infusing more strength into your immune system. So, remember that depression could be the cause for your physical symptoms.

If you have found my page, you must be experiencing some type of depression. I am asking you to not continue to isolate yourself but to ask for help because it is available. Your best option now is to talk to a therapist/counselor. In a safe therapeutic environment you can openly and freely express how you feel, to explore the whole nature of your particular situation. Confidentiality of this type of session is protected by your therapist, who will also make you feel safe, understood and accepted.

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