Postpartum depression

Dear women, postpartum depression remains the type of depression, which many times remains undetected in a woman. I call it unrecognized depression, as only a few women get help with that.

If you have found this page, it means to me that you are having certain symptoms or feelings that make you think that you might be undergoing postpartum depression. So, please read further.

Postpartum depression is a depression, which is caused by certain changes in how chemicals are processed by your body after you gave birth to your new baby. Symptoms are, sadness, usually a lot of guilt resulting in self-talk such as, “I am not a good mother”, “I cannot take care of this child”, “I do not deserve to be a mother”. As you can see, those are very self-depreciating messages towards yourself.

Among other symptoms, tearfulness, hopelessness; this might ultimately lead you towards isolation from other family members. Confusion is another serious symptom, which might lead you towards making irrational decisions pertaining to yourself or your baby.

So, postpartum depression is real and it is quite common in women. From the beginning I have to tell you that if you are experiencing any of these symptoms, please know that this is temporary as postpartum stage will be passing and you will come back to your normal self. Let me give you one precaution though. If you found yourself depressed after 3 months following your child’s birth, please be aware that this could be now depression and you need further help.

Why is that so hard to the woman to recognize postpartum depression?

It is difficult for several reasons. One is that if you never experienced depression in your life, you simply don’t know that such situation might even exist. This is understandable. Another reason is that after birth of your new baby you become very busy and you simply don’t pay attention at what goes on inside of you. That is why you need a resource like this, to recognize depression in yourself and to know what to think about it and what actions to take.  

Again, as I mentioned before, postpartum depression affects number of women. To prevent you from taking this event in your life very personally, I will tell you that this condition has absolutely no indication on what kind of mother or what kind of person you are. Absolutely none. It is purely related to how chemicals processed in our body/brain, which have nothing to do with you as a person. You are, most likely, a very caring and loving mother. It is simply you body, the way we function as human beings, is the one that is causing now your sadness, guilt and remorse over certain things. I hope now we are clear that your personality has nothing to do with this particular type of depression.

You are adjusting to your new baby and many other things

This is another thing to mention. Please allow your family’s members to help you during this transition. Simply allow them to be there for you, to help you in any way possible. Remember, you are adjusting to your newborn. You are also adjusting to your motherhood. This is a lot to take on! Just know that a lot of adjustment is taking place in you. Adjustment means that you have just faced with an overnight change in your life. Yesterday you were pregnant and today you are a mother. This is a big change in your lifestyle, your habits, your schedule, your family’s structure; your relationship with your spouse and other children, if you have those, might be affected, to name a few. Everybody else around you is also in a process of major adjustment to a new family member as well as to their new roles towards new baby. Hopefully now, you started seeing yourself as part of much bigger picture as the picture around you is quite big and it keeps changing. This what adjustment means. Quite a bit of work, isn’t it? And you are the one who is actually doing this work! So, my dear, please give yourself enough credit and love for all these life changes you are bravely going through without even realizing that.

Feelings towards the baby

Those feelings you experience towards the baby might be affected as well. Remember that if you all of sudden started to notice changes in your feelings towards the baby, such as guilt, remorse, feeling inadequate as a mother, please know that those are caused by this depression. Even though those feelings temporary, they can cause a lot of distress for you, especially if you gave birth to your very first baby. You need to remember that your baby loves you no matter what and needs your affection even during these difficult for you times. Knowing that might help you to remain calm and nurturing towards your baby and also towards yourself to make sure the needs for all are still being met.

Crying/colicky baby  

Some situations with colicky, crying baby may be especially challenging if you are in the midst of postpartum depression. Some mothers expressed that excessive baby’s cry makes them feel rejected and even more sad in the midst of depression. Simply know that your baby’s cry can make it feel for you like a rejection, which is not. The baby expresses the needs through the cry, loving you as a mother and needing you always. Rejection is not possible as baby in love with you, always. No exceptions. Please continue to nurture the baby, hold baby a lot, continue connecting and again, receive any help offered by your loved ones.

Seek help